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“Crawl”, Episode #11: Gators Are in the House, Ladies & Gentlemen, and It Ain’t Pretty (but it is extremely suspenseful & well-done horror)

September 27, 2019 by leeeide-, posted in horror, movies, suspense

Monster gator from “Crawl” by Sam Raimi & Alexandre Aja

This classic “monster in the house” tale from Alexandre Aja of “The Hills Have Eyes” and Sam Raimi of “Evil Dead” and “Don’t Breathe” is one of the better horror pics from the summer of 2019. It’s got an intriguing, believable ‘what if’ hook: What if two giant alligators got into your flooded house during a hurricane and you were trapped in there with them?

The key to topnotch horror, besides an interesting, menacing, frightening and formidable monster, is human characters who’re likable, believable and sympathetic. In other words, the audience has to care about what happens to them. And in “Crawl”, Kaya Scodelario (Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales ) plays Haley, the daughter and main character, who tries to save her father, played by Barry Pepper (Saving Private Ryan, True Grit and The Green Mile) who’s in their old house doing some repairs when a hurricane hits.

And while I didn’t find parts of it plausible (Can you really trap a huge alligator in a shower and expect it won’t break through the thin, plastic doors? And will a thin metal pipe really keep a hungry gator from eating your savory, human self?), on the whole, I bought into the gator-human battle for survival in an enclosed space.

It’s set up perfectly as the opening scene shows aspiring University of Florida swimmer Haley Keller getting a call from sister Beth who informs her that a Category 5 hurricane is on a collision course with Florida and advises her to get out of the state. Haley is concerned for the safety of her father Dave because he is not answering his phone. Against the police’s wishes and instructions, Haley goes around the roadblocks to search for her father.

She initially goes to his condo but he’s not there. His dog Sugar, however, is and Haley takes the pet along with her when she heads for their old family home, which was supposedly sold years ago (mother and father have divorced), in Coral Lake.

Eventually they arrive at the what turns out to be unsold family home. Haley leaves Sugar upstairs and descends to the crawl space where she discovers her dad, injured and unconscious from (although she doesn’t know it yet) from a gator attack. And this is where we get into, pardon the expression, the teeth of the story.

The father used to be Haley’s swimming coach/mentor and besides family memories, when they’re not battling the planet’s most dangerous, oldest predator, they talk about Haley’s swimming exploits and challenges.

From Wikipedia: Angelica Jade Bastien of New York Magazine praised the film, saying, “Crawl is a great example of a simple story exceedingly well-told. It’s a bloody adventure full of teeth-gnawing turns of fortune, mordant wit, vicious gator kills, and surprising tenderness — that clocks in at a blessedly fleet 87 minutes. It’s a perfect horror film for the summer, as much an ode to the cataclysmic, humbling aspects of Mother Nature as it is a love letter to father-daughter relationships.”^[16] Jim Vejvoda of IGN wrote, “Crawl is a fun albeit familiar human vs. beast movie, one that gets plenty of mileage out of its setting and people’s deep-set fear of being eaten.” He cautioned that fans of Alexandre Aja might be surprised at how mainstream Crawl is compared to his more gruesome horror films.^[17]

With a Rotten Tomatoes score of 82%, it’s hard to argue with this tight (only an hour and 27 minutes long, almost too short) film being perhaps the best mainstream horror movie in the summer of 2019. Considering it’s the result of Sam Raimi and Alexandre Aja, very well-regarded creators of horror and suspense films, it shouldn’t be surprising how well it turned out. I gave it 7.5 kernels while Stephen rated it 6.5 kernels. After thinking about it more and being reminded how highly critics rated it, I regret not giving it a higher score. At least 8.0 to 8.5 kernels seems like a more accurate assessment now. Whatever, if you enjoy horror and/or suspenseful, fast-moving flicks, this is a must see.

Lee’s Jokes of the Week

Sampling of my gator humor:

What do you call it when you combine a GPS and an alligator? Answer: Navigator
What do crocodile chefs use to make many of their dishes? Answer: Crockpot
What did the alligator say after it broke into Farmer Smith’s house and ate all the occupants? Answer: Hmm, tastes like chicken.

Stephen’s Recommendation

Subscription box, specifically Magic Box —https://www.magicsubscriptionbox.com/. As their site says, you can amaze your friends with the magic tricks you learn in your monthly magic box plus members can access instructional videos on their site. For all you aspiring or novice magicians, this is THEE subscription for you! Professional magician Justin Flom provides all the tips and info you need to make your doubts about doing magic tricks disappear.

Image from http://www.magicsubscriptionbox.com

Okay folks, that’s it for this post. Look for another blog post on this site within the next three or four days. And be sure to check out our latest episode, #15, “Rambo: Last Blood”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OVvxl44VhZY

Countdown Continues…and Ends! “Captain Marvel” — Episode #1: Not Perfect but Hey, it’s a Start

September 15, 2019 by leeeide-, posted in Uncategorized

SC: “I actually have heard of the Scree (extraterrestrial race opposing the main character in the movie) from playing a game on my phone.” LE: “And then of course there is North Scree and South Scree.”

You know, like North Korea and South Korea? Okay, trust me, my jokes get better as we do more episodes. You gotta start somewhere, right? I mean do you think Quentin Tarantino was always a brilliant if controversial director and producer? There was time when he didn’t know a subplot from an ascot. But look at him now.

Anyhow, we released the first episode of our “The Movie Review Show” on March 16, 2019. It was Stephen’s idea for us to don our Wal-Mart ware for the 1st episode to show viewers we’re just a couple of regular working stiffs who happen to really, really love and watch a lot of movies.

Historic 1st Episode of THE MOVIE REVIEW SHOW Starring Stephen L. Craig & Lee A. Eide

In retrospect, I think my introduction of the show’s format, although fine and accurate as far as it goes, is incomplete. I explain that Stephen and I go to our local movie theater, Red Wing Cinema 8, watch a newly-released movie and then review it. That’s all true except that we have two additional segments after the review: 1) Stephen’s Recommendations and my Lee’s Jokes of the Week. So I will suggest we add that to the show’s introduction so new viewers will know immediately that we’re more than a straight movie review show.

Like Life in general, the show is a work in progress. You try to do things one way and if it seems to be working, you keep doing it that way. If it doesn’t work, then you try a different method. It’s like a giant labortory: experiment, analyze and act accordingly.

Back to our first review: After explaining format of our show, including our ratings system (10-kernel of popcorn rating system with one kernel being the worst and ten kernels the best), we showed the movie’s trailer and then launched into our review. Neither of us knew a ton about the Captain Marvel character (yeah, yeah, maybe we should have done some research before seeing and reviewing the movie) so in a way that was good. We went into it with a fresh perspective. I commented that I had some reservations about Captain Marvel being a woman because, you know, to me ‘captain’ conjures up the image of a man but I said after seeing the new version the character that I had no problem with a female Captain Marvel.

Wallpaper review from https://wall.alphacoders.com/big.php?i=974062

In essence, she’s one kick-ass, super-powerful, take-no-prisoners superhero who happens to be female. Guys, if you like strong women, this is the new superhero for you!

The film’s opening was fantastic: the Marvel logo and a homage to Stan Lee got things rolling. We commented on the grunge-centric soundtrack: we loved it, especially No Doubt’s “Just A Girl” and Kurt Cobain’s “Come As You Are”! For me, music is an essential element in life and although a killer soundtrack isn’t required for all movies, if it’s appropriate and blends in with the on-screen action, it definitely enhances the movie experience.

Credit: https://wallpapersafari.com/w/RGpMbQ

The appearance of a Blockbuster Video store is a sure-fire sign that the movie takes place in the 90’s. To be more precise, it takes place in 1995. The time period is important as the movie symbolizes the spirit of mid-90s when anti-establishment rock songs, especially feminist anthems and girl power tunes were extremely popular and reflective of that era. That’s to say, the 1995 backdrop serves a narrative purpose that goes beyond simply allowing Captain Marvel to take children of the ’90s on a jaunt down memory lane or have Carol wear a Nine Inch Nails T-shirt. It was sort of nostalgic trip for me. My wife Amy, may she RIP, and I used to live in a Burnsville townhouse located about a mile from a Blockbuster store although that was in the early 2000’s. Ah yes, the good old days, sort of.

We agreed the movie didn’t feel like a typical superhero for the first 45 minutes or so. It felt more like sci-fi as most of the action takes place in outer space. And I point out even after the action switches to Earth there are Star Wars-ish sequences like when they buzz through the canyon in the high-tech aircraft and barely avoid sure death numerous times much like Han Solo and Chewbacca in the asteroids belt.

Taken from http://www.awesomewallpapersblog.com

We were also impressed with the f/x, in particular the capitol city of Scree and the various spaceships. It was impressive and distinctive, not carbon copies of Star Trek or Star Wars franchises.

I point out the appropriateness off the Scrolls, the primary enemy of Captain Marvel and SHIELD boss Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) being shapeshifters. Beginning in the 90’s, terrorists are at or near the top of the “bad guys” list and of course part of their MO is to pretend to be God-fearing American citizens and then secretly plan and launch terror attacks. So Muslim fantatics are essentially shapeshifters.

And now for the big moment, our scores:

It was not Oscar material but definitely worth seeing for several reasons: stellar f/x, rockin’ soundtrack, topnotch cinematography, solid plot and excellent acting. My primary issue was the implausible (even for a superhero movie) ending. Stephen’s primary issue was the role of the cat that ends up possessing an extremely important artifact.

Here is a link to the episode: https://youtu.be/0Vn2AHrpi3Y

And there you go, ladies and gentlemen, the countdown is complete! Now I will go forward in time and catch up with all of our reviews (we’re up to 14 episodes with #15 fast approaching!). And as we say at the end of every episode, “We’ll be watching…for you.”

Countdown Continues with…”Pet Sematary, Episode #3″ — Remake Improves on the Spooky Original * One Spoiler Alert*

August 23, 2019 by leeeide-, posted in Uncategorized

I thought the review went fine. We had fun and both really liked this remake.

The Movie Review Show starring Stephen Craig and Lee Eide

Stephen Craig: “I loved the ending. It was campy, do you agree?”

Me: “Oh yeah, very…The ending was 3-D: dark, delicious, and ah geez, what was it, oh yeah, delightful!”

And indeed it is. We both loved how the script deviated from the original 1989 movie, which was excellent, by the way, but by having the daughter Rachael die and come back from the dead instead of the younger son, Gage, the tale veers off on a devilishly deviant tangent that ends in a sinister fashion (spoiler withheld).

Link to the review:

https://www.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D_xQxJGaLnow

Here are my notes on the movie:

Starring Jason Clarke as Dr. Louis Creed, Jon Lithgow as neighbor Jud Crandall, and Jete’ Laurence as daughter Ellie, this is a spin of the classic “monkey’s paw” yarn that works beautifully. The tale explores the macabre, weighty but fascinating world of the death of loved ones and of our…

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Countdown Continues with…”Pet Sematary, Episode #3″ — Remake Improves on the Spooky Original * One Spoiler Alert*

August 23, 2019 by leeeide-, posted in movies

Stephen Craig: “I loved the ending. It was campy, do you agree?”

Me: “Oh yeah, very…The ending was 3-D: dark, delicious, and ah geez, what was it, oh yeah, delightful!”

Link to the review:

https://www.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D_xQxJGaLnow

Here are my notes on the movie:

Starring Jason Clarke as Dr. Louis Creed, Jon Lithgow as neighbor Jud Crandall, and Jete’ Laurence as daughter Ellie, this is a spin of the classic “monkey’s paw” yarn that works beautifully. The tale explores the macabre, weighty but fascinating world of the death of loved ones and of our own mortality. PT is “smart zombie” tale, closer to vampires than George Romero’s mindless, human-flesh-eating obsessed undead. The beings that are resurrected from the special Micmac burial ground look like the original person or pet but harbor a hidden, evil streak poses lethal danger to the loved ones of the reanimated being.
I see that some critics say the pacing is too slow but I thought the pacing, with the exception of perhaps one too many flashbacks of the mother Rachael as a young child helping take care of her dying mother Zelda, was fine. It made the characters fully human and worth caring for. The only flaw worth noting is from the source material and the filmmakers failure to address it is the primary reason I can’t give this movie a perfect score. And that is the failure of the parents, after they move to an isolated home right by a busy road, to build some kind of protective fencing for their cat and young children. Other than that, I love how the new version of “Pet Sematary” keeps the parts of the original source material that do work and change the story from the younger Gage getting killed by a speeding semi to the older daughter Ellie.
As Jud says, “Sometimes dead is better” and I would amend that slightly to say that sometimes the original is story is fine but sometimes that are parts you should change. In this case, I think the producer and director made the right decision by having Ellie die and come back from the special burial ground.
I give it 9 kernels. Everything was perfect except for minor plot issues.

My co-host also gave it a 9.0. kernels out of 10.0. We talk about how fabulously Jon Lithgow as next-door neighbor, Jud Crandall, says the line, “Sometimes dead is better.” I add that Fred Gwynne (in the original) says it with more of an Eastern accent.

Fred Gwynne as Jud Crandall in original “Pet Sematary”

Seeing this wonderful flick inspired by Stephen King has me even more pumped up for the next, and final, “It” installment. It’s going to be released Sept. 5th, a day after my birthday. Bring it on, baby!

Countdown Continues: “Shazam!” — Episode #4 — A Truly Historic Moment: Our Show’s 1st Perfect Score

August 15, 2019 by leeeide-, posted in movies, superheroes

Highlights from the show:

#1 – SC: “One of the first things Billy Batson does after he gets superpowers is to go buy beer.” LE: “If I suddenly got superpowers at that age I’d do the same thing.”

#2 – SC: “Okay, which would you rather have, invisibility or the power to fly?” LE: “Okay I have flip flopped on this one. I’d rather have invisibility so I can be that fly on the wall. I figure I can already fly because we have jetpacks but as far as I know, no one’s invented a way to become invisible. SC: “It’s close but I’ll take flying.” LE: “We can work together. You can have the aerial view while I’m on the ground checking things out.”

#3 — SC: “I give it 8.5 kernels. How about you, Lee?” LE: “I’m gonna see your 8.5 and raise it to 10!” SC: “Wow, our first perfect score.” LE: “And maybe the last.” Fist bump ensues.

Okay, I’ll admit it. My score was too high. I got caught up in the excitement (maybe it was the exclamation point! at the end of the title?) of the Shazam phenomena. I mean today I would rate it 9.0, maybe 9.5, but Stephen had a great point about all the monsters that represented the Seven Deadly Sins all kind of blended together in a grayish, evil, metaphorical soup. They should have been different colors or shaped uniquely or something to visually clue in the audience which one was which. Not a HUGE deal but still, a strike against the movie that prevents it from being perfect.

And BTW, my comment in re this might be the last 10 we ever give out on the show turned out to be wrong! Both Stephen and I gave “Avengers: Endgame” a 10 (guest reviewer David Rasmussen give a 9.5 with the length being the only glitch he saw in the movie). So this wasn’t my personal best performance but I think I at least partially redeemed myself with one of my jokes on Lee’s Jokes of the Week:

NOTE: I explain on the show why I can get away with telling a marine biologist joke: It’s because a famous fictional character, Gomer Pyle, who was a Marine, liked to use the phrase, “Shazam, Seargant Carter!”

Okay, here’s the joke: What do you call a marine biologist who’s bad at their job? Answer: A submarine biologist.

Virginia-class U.S. Navy Submarine (most advanced nuclear-powered sub)

Historical note: Captain Marvel was Shazam’s original name when the character was first crafted, as a Superman knockoff, in 1939. He was relaunched in 1973 as Shazam after decades of lawsuits and the debut of Marvel’s own Captain Marvel.

Lastly, this from Quora.com user Sayan Mukherjee: Young Billy Batson got his powers from the wizard Shazam, and his name is an acronym, the letters standing for Solomon, Hercules, Atlas, Zeus, Achilles and Mercury. The point being, he gets certain attributes from these characters, such as the thunderbolt of Zeus and the speed of Mercury.

And that, my movie- and superhero-loving friends, concludes this “The Movie Review Show” blog about episode #4 of our show on YouTube. Here’s the link to that episode:

https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=the+movie+review+show+with+lee+eide+on+youtube+-+episode+%233&&view=detail&mid=EA991210AD7E6AAB483CEA991210AD7E6AAB483C&&FORM=VRDGAR

“The Movie Review Show”, SHAZAM! — episode #4 link

Countdown Continues: “Avengers: Endgame” — Episode #5 — Bonus Materials Abound: Extra Jokes, Extra Reviewer & a Magic Trick!

August 13, 2019 by leeeide-, posted in movies, superheroes

Since it was our 5th episode (every five episodes we do something different and special), we had a guest reviewer, David Rasmussen, join us on the show. And in addition to recommending a book on magic, Stephen actually performed a magic trick (he read David R.’s mind) plus I told bonus jokes, a total of nine!

Highlights from the show:

#1 – SC: “Early in the movie there’s a lot of drama but not very much action.” LE: “They had to devise a pretty complex plan (to retrieve the Infinity Stones) so there is a lot of intellectual stuff going on so it’s gonna be slower paced…But it sets up what happens in the 2^nd half of the movie, which is almost non-stop action.”

#2 – SC: “I wrote down in my notes that was more than a movie. It was an experience.” DR: “Yeah, the experience of a lifetime.” LE: “It was like Marvel Comics created a VR ride and it sucked you into their universe.”

#3 – LE: “It definitely didn’t feel like a three-hour movie. I thought the pacing was great. For the finale of a huge franchise like this is you needed all the time to do things right.” DR: “I would love to go back and watch this movie again to see what I missed…because that movie was huge.”

#4 – After looking up Metacritic rating (77): SC: “You know what guys, I’m gonna say this: You guys are wrong!”

#5 – After all three reviewers finished hugging, Lee said, “Reviewers assemble!”

And now, drum roll, please, highlights from Lee’s Jokes of the Week:

How does the Incredible Hulk earn money on the side? Answer: He flips houses.
If Dr. Banner always cites his sources, does he become the Credible Hulk?
What do you call Iron Man without his costume? Answer: Stark Naked
What did Cptn. America say to the Avengers after they entered an Ikea store? Answer: “Avengers, assemble!”

Lastly, Stephen and I both gave it 10 kernels while David scored it 9.5 (he thoughjt it should have been a wee bit shorter). And that’s all for this post for our review of the finale of the Avengers epic run of movies.

Countdown Continues: “Detective Pokemon Pikachu” — Episode #6 — Surprisingly Well-Done & Doesn’t Require Viewer to be a Veteran Video Game Player

August 12, 2019 by leeeide-, posted in movies, Video Game Franchise Debut

It’s a mostly-stellar neo-noir, kid-friendly fantasy detective/mystery tale that is both a wonderful introduction for Pokémon newbies and a successful translation of an iconic kids video game to the big screen. The film is an enjoyable movieization of a longtime global video-game phenomenon that is campy, preposterous and for the most part, works.

R.J. Palmer, an illustrator who made his mark with online illustrations of Pokémon characters, helped create concept designs for the movie. Nigel Phelps, production designer, bathes Ryme City in neon shades of light and rain-dampened streets. It was shot with 35MM Kodak film, which contributed to the realistic feel of fantastical images in an imaginary world.

Movie Poster of “Pokemon Detective Pikachu”

Director Rob Letterman of “Goosebumps” fame and the other writers fill the film with Easter eggs and admittedly were inspired by and influenced by “Blade Runner”, Tim Burton’s “Batman” (1989) and a 1949 British film noir entitled “The Third Man”.

Dazzling, sophisticated and well-employed F/X, meticulous, right-on portrayals of the epic cast of Pokémon characters, especially the detective hero Pikachu, and generous dollops of humor overpower the at times confusing plot twists and chaotic action scenes. Its assets easily outpace the liabilities, which leads my score: 8 kernels of popcorn!

LEE’S JOKES OF THE WEEK

1) What does Pikachu say when he gets gassy while drinking milk? Answer: I’m Zaptos intolerant!

2) What product is the hero the Pokémon movie going to promote? Answer: Chewing gum. As in “pick a chew”.

3) What happens when you combine the Pokémon movie with the Avengers final two movies? Answer: Half of the Pokémon characters die!

Copy of my letter to the editors at Time in re the remake of “The Lion King”

August 3, 2019 by leeeide-, posted in movies

It is a mostly lifeless, less fun, less energetic and less- fun-musically recreation of an original that was fantastic and didn’t need to be remade. There’s less music, which detracts from the energy level, and much less humor. The CGI-rendering and less energetic voices and depleted soundtrack leave the audience feeling like they’re watching a nature documentary that’s been staged. We get what amounts to vampires: on the outside they appear like normal animals but on the inside, they’re dead.

The only deviations from the original plot made the film worse, not better:

1) Butchering “Circle of Life”, “I Can’t Wait to be King” and “Be Prepared” songs

2) Excluding Scar’s response to Simba’s question, “What does that make you?”

3) Replacing Jeremy Irons as the voice of Scar with another British (but much less accomplished) actor, Chiwetel Ejiofor

4) Omitting Timon from scene in which the hyena sentries are distracted by prospect of dining on a warthog so Simba and Nala can sneak into the Pridelands to confront Scar

Shame on you, Disney, for taking the easy way out (again) and instead of giving us new story lines, fresh characters and new plots, you take the path of least resistance and slap new technology on the same story and give less energetic and less visually interesting film. The result: audiences are uninspired and at times even bored (at least Stephen Craig, my co-host on “The Movie Review Show” on YouTube, ere). It’s very shameful indeed. I’m not paying another cent to watch anymore of Disney’s CGI remakes and I don’t think anyone should either. Moviegoers deserve better than that. It’s time to boycott Disney CGI-remakes of classic Disney films. Thank you for your time and attention.

Best Regards, Lee A. Eide

Phone #: 651-380-1688

521 Maple St. #B206, Red Wing, MN 55066

“The Movie Review Show”: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC64prJQVS4j6WrOIQhJhNwQ

Countdown Continues: “Aladdin”: — Episode #7 — Disney Live-Action/CGI Remake Falls Far Short of Original Gem

August 3, 2019August 12, 2019 by leeeide-, posted in Disney CGI Remake, movies

Stephen: “I thought the scenery and lighting in ‘A Whole New World’ was dark and boring.” Lee: “Apparently Disney’s new world is dark and boring.”

Later on, I said, “The only reason this movie was redone was that Disney knew there was a market for it and they’d make a lot of money. Which they have. It’s doing great at the box office.”

Stephen later commented (I’m paraphrasing), “Even though I haven’t seen the original version, I have to believe Robin Williams did a better job as the Genie.” I replied, “Will Smith did a decent job but because the director of the movie and Disney kept the Genie’s dialogue almost identical to the original script so people can’t help comparing the two. It’s not fair to Will Smith and you can blame Disney for that.”

After we saw how absurdly high the scores were on Rotten Tomatoes (94%) and Metacritic (86%), I half-jokingly said Disney must have hired a bunch of people to write reviews on those sites. Stephen said the scores were so high because it was a fun movie and even though some of the acting was bad, most moviegoers aren’t that picky and won’t notice it.

It’s a shame Disney didn’t let Guy Ritchie take the story in a different direction than the 1992 film. One obvious choice would have been to let the feminist advocate for representative democracy, Princess Jasimine (played by Naomi Scott) be a bigger part of the story. Instead of just making her the sultan, which was a fantastic start, I would have omitted the part about her changing the law to allow her to marry Aladdin. Just let her focus on being a fantastic leader and make Aladdin a really close friend instead of a husband. It would have a been gutsy, nontraditional take on the original film that would have resonated with today’s mostly-feminist-movement-supporters moviegoers.

The overly muscled, blue physique with Will Smith’s face stuck on top doesn’t work. Maybe if the actor playing the Genie wasn’t so well known it would have been okay but Smith’s iconic career that’s not the case. You can’t blame the actor. It’s Disney and the director, who was paid by Disney. Guy Ritchie is best known for creative, gritty and gutsy re-imagining of the Sherlock Holmes franchise and the movie “Snatch” but his signature edgy directorial style is watered down here.

So while the immense production budget allows for lavish scenes for the familiar songs to play out against, the musical numbers, except for the forced, horrible “Speechless” sang by Princess Naomi, are identical to the original.

The original animated “Aladdin” worked so well because of the expert 2D animation and manic comedic performance by the unparalleled Robin Williams. The live-action version doesn’t work because it tries too hard to be a CGI version of the original using an iconic actor largely rehashing a legend’s hilarious improvised lines.

To learn five fascinating facts you probably didn’t know about the original movie released in 1992, check out this link: https://www.cinemablend.com/news/2472100/5-facts-you-didnt-know-about-the-original-aladdin-movie

My rating of the 2019: 3.5 kernels Stephen was much more (too) generous: 7.5 kernels.

Countdown Continues: “Dark Phoenix” and “Brightburn” — Episode #8: Disappointing Finale of X-Men Franchise &; Intriguing Anti-Superman Take

July 21, 2019July 22, 2019 by leeeide-, posted in movies

Stephen started off the show with a rant about how superhero movie franchises shouldn’t kill off characters in one movie and then have them somehow be alive in later movies and how you only need to do origin stories once, plus two more gripes. So I thought he and I would be on the same page about how bad this movie was. Boy was I wrong! He gave it 7.5 kernels/10 while I gave it 3.5.

Stephen Craig: “I liked the opening scene. It was suspenseful and set up the rest of the movie.” My reply: “Yeah, first scene was fine but it’s all downhill after that.”

Stephen Craig: “I liked Patrick Stewart much better as Professor Xavier. He had a lot more charisma and style than James McAvoy”

” My reply: “Oh yeah, for sure. Just like the movie as a whole. It lacked style and charisma.”

Stephen pointed out the problem with Magneto’s age and how he should have been much older given that the character was born during WWII. And I’ve seen that criticism on other movie site as well. https://youtu.be/J3yqo2175Po

Episode #8 of THE MOVIE REVIEW SHOW — “Dark Phoenix” & “Brightburn”

To me, it was a disappointing finale for a movie franchise that has lasted for nearly two decades. “Dark Phoenix” was more character driven and complex than your typical superhero fare so I applaud director Simon Kinberg for taking a chance and making the titular character more nuanced and gritty than most superheroes but on the whole, he went overboard. Kinberg sacrificed too much action, energy and excitement for psychological development and emotional issues. There’s no Wolverine, the X-Men’s most interesting and likable character. And that wouldn’t been a such a huge deal had there been either a really cool mutant and/or memorable, stylish villain to fill the void. But that didn’t happen.

Consider the villains in this flick: the D’bari. I called them perhaps the lamest villains in the history of cinema. As one reviewer joked, the D’bari also run an Italian sandwich shop franchise as well. I mean they lack style and are so forgettable.

Jennifer Chastain as Vuk, Leader of the D’bari

Leader of the alien race, the D’bari, who want to use Jean Grey’s Dark Phoenix power to take over Earth

One of the issues is that as originally done, they were just like the Skrulls from “Captain Marvel”. So many re-shoots and editing was required to make them different from that alien race. Ultimately although powerful, they lack style and requisite panache`that is required for an X-Men villain in the final movie of an epic saga.

I do applaud Sophie Turner’s portrayal of Jean Grey. It was nuanced, complex and showed that the star of “GoT” can handle a starring role. The problem was there wasn’t enough action, memorable good-guy mutants and a stylish opponent to play off of.

Sophie Turner with Joe Jonas; she plays Jean Grey in X-Men finale

To conclude, Stephen gave it 7.5 kernels and I gave it 3.5 kernels. While Stephen liked some of the F/X and the intricate plotting, I felt for a superhero movie it lacked action, cool F/X and a stylish villain.

And now onto “Brightburn”:.

We both loved the premise. It’s definitely a high-concept script. It takes the Superman saga and turns it on its head. It explores what might happen if Superman were evil instead of good. And while Stephen loved it, he gave the movie 8.5 kernels, I didn’t like the movie. I gave it 3.0 because, as I say in the episode, “As the leader of the firing squad likes to say, execution is everything.” And to me, the execution in “Brightburn” was lacking. My biggest gripes: 1) The victims were neither particularly interesting nor memorable; 2) Brandon’s parents were too slow to realize the extent of their adopted son’s evil nature; 3) The sheriff was too slow in going after Brandon; and 4) I thought it would have been more interesting if Brandon had struggled with whether to use his power for evil (like Jean Grey struggled in “Dark Phoenix” instead of him being purely evil and having no qualms about killing people. But on the last objection, Stephen made a good point about him being the anti-Superman. If you’re going to go down that road, then you should go all the way, so to speak, and have there be no middle ground. He’s pure evil and that’s that.

STEPHEN’S RECOMMENDATION

Frank’s RedHot is a hot sauce that is, as Stephen and the company claim, a perfect combination of flavor and hotness. Frank’s Redhot is well-known for their edgy slogan: I put that s___ on everything!

LEE’S JOKES OF THE WEEK

I had five total. Here are a couple of them:

1 ) Why did Levi’s hire Nightcrawler? Answer: He looks good in blue genes.

2) How many writers of an X Man movie does it take to screw in a light bulb? Answer: The # varies but no matter how many do it X Man fans will complain (bitch) about how they’re doing it.

And that’s it, people. That’s the end of this blog. Look for the next blog post to appear by next Tuesday or Wednesday. Thanks for reading and be sure to check out our show and if you like what you see, you know the drill: Subscribe and share with your online tribe. And remember, we’ll be watching (movies) for you!